


Almost Domestic

by sumhowe_sailing



Category: Sumhowe
Genre: Drunk flirting, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 21:03:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9844124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sumhowe_sailing/pseuds/sumhowe_sailing
Summary: Charles tries to make Sam jealous. Julia is not amused.





	

**Author's Note:**

> *Like most ridiculous stories, this is firmly rooted in reality.   
> *This was one of the first sumhowe stories I wrote, and skimming through it again just now I have winced at my style a lot but I'm too lazy to do anything about it so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“Really, Chev, why should you need me with you? The ladies at Hell Gate will not miss me and I shall enjoy my evening much more if I stay here. ”

“What nonsense my dear Charlie, you are an ornament to every room you enter. The ladies will not object, so what possible objection can you have?”

“You are supposed to be wooing Julia, not me.”

“Ah, but perhaps I have courted her so well that we now need a chaperone.”

“Surely you can find someone better suited to the task. You said yourself there will be others in attendance this evening to guard the reputation of your witch.”

“Sometimes I do not understand you; why introduce us if you disliked her so?”

“I often ask myself the same question.”

“She is not so bad as all that.” A note of impatience was creeping into Sam’s voice; Charlie recognized the danger and made an effort to soothe his friend.

“It is not Julia, Chev, but the situation which I find less than agreeable. To see you flirting so openly with her when you know how I covet your affection—“

“If you had a woman of your own you need not be jealous.” Sam snapped. Seeing the hurt look on Charlie’s face, he regretted his temper. Crossing the room, he laid a hand upon his friend’s shoulder and said, more softly, “Listen, if it bothers you so much, take a few glasses of wine and you will scarcely notice it, I’m sure.” He leaned forward to pacify Charlie with a kiss, but Charles pulled away and said coldly, “The carriage is waiting Sam.”

The two men rode in silence, and though Sam greeted Julia and her friends enthusiastically, Charles was still frosty while they made themselves, more or less, comfortable.  Julia was no less pleased to see him than he was to be there and did just as little to disguise her feelings.  When she offered her guests a drink, Sam was glad to see that Charles seemed to be taking his advice. And when Charlie began to speak with a cordial, even a friendly air, he hoped that he had found a solution to future tensions of the kind. But as the evening wore on and some glasses were refilled time and again, Charlie began to be a little _too_ friendly.

“Dear Julia,” he said, perhaps too loudly, abruptly cutting off whatever conversation she had been making, “d’you know that Sam thinks I should take a wife?”

“Oh does he? How interesting.” She responded in a tone which clearly belied her statement.

“Yes, hahaha, isn’t it? The trouble is, where should I find one to suit?”

“I’m sure there are any number of eligible ladies in Boston.”

“But none of them ever appear to such advantage as you do tonight.”

“Charles—“ Sam began in a warning tone, but his plea fell on deaf ears.

“Say, Julia, you and I have known each other well, we have been almost domestic one might say. I could make you my little wife.”

“Mr. Sumner, I think perhaps you need a little fresh air?”

“Ah my dear, your breath is the most refreshing wind any man could hope for.”

“No, Sir, you must not have experienced our New York breezes.” Sam watched, beginning to understand Charlie’s jealousy, as Julia took his friend’s arm and guided him gently to the balcony. In spite of the conversation that had resumed around him, he was listening intently to his dear Charlie making an ass of himself. When he told Julia that the stars did not shine as brightly as her eyes, that the heavens seemed tawdry in comparison, it took all of Sam’s will power not to laugh aloud, remembering a fine night when Charlie had said much the same to him. Briefly returning his attention to the conversation on hand, he noticed one of Julia’s friends also glancing toward her and Charles with some anxiety.  Sam made an effort to catch her eye, and with a tilt of his head indicated his intention. She gave a slight nod, and together they went to join their friends on the balcony.

“Ah, Chev, I see you have found another lady to join you. You will not mind then if I steal Julia for my own?”

“Oh Mr. Sumner, I’m afraid you misunderstand; this gentleman and I are barely acquainted.”

 “Well, my little wife and I shall soon be pleased to invite you both to dinner often enough that you may become better friends.”

“Charlie, you don’t mean to say you’ve already proposed?”

“I—well,” he began, faltered, then turned to a rather irritated Julia and asked, “well my dear, have I proposed to you? Shall I?”

“You have done and will do nothing of the kind! Doctor Howe, kindly refrain from encouraging such absurd notions in him.”

“I beg your pardon my dear, I was afraid you would not be able to resist his charms and I should have to begin all over again with some inferior substitute.”

“Shall we rejoin the others?” Julia’s friend suggested, clearly anxious to break up the awkward gathering.

“Yes, I think so.” Julia readily agreed. But Charlie was not ready to give up his flirtation,

“No, ladies you must stay!” Ignoring this plea, they linked arms and began heading back to the main room. Before Sam knew what was happening, Charles had moved himself in front of them, bodily blocking them from their path, still entreating them to stay. Julia, annoyed beyond politesse, tried to pull her friend around him. Charles stepped forward and made a grab for them, somehow tangling the curtain around them in the process.

“And now ladies, you must stay! We were having such a pleasant conversation, do not leave us just yet.”

“Charles, don’t be absurd—“

“Sam, you have been clinging to their skirts for months, surely you cannot begrudge me one conversation.”

“Mr. Sumner, I entreat you—“

“Dear woman, I shall of course let you go, when you agree to return to the balcony.”

“Charles this is ridiculous,” Julia cried, struggling vainly to free herself, “even for you!”

“Ridiculous? A man embracing his little wife is the most natural thing in the world.”

“Sam, can’t you persuade him to release us?” The question snapped him out of his stunned daze; finally aware that everyone was now watching the spectacle, Sam pried Charles off of the ladies and the abused curtain. No sooner had the women disentangled themselves, however, than Charles seized Julia’s hand and tried again to flatter her.

“Your eyes Julia, they are so brilliant, I am caught in them like a fly in a web. I feel as if I could stand here transfixed by your gaze long enough to turn to stone, oh you lovely Medusa.”

“Mr. Sumner please, this is too much!” she cried, yanking her hand free. Sam, seeing the shock and anger on Julia’s countenance, decided it was time for him to cut the evening short.

“My dear Julia, I am sure you will excuse me, I feel I must get Mr. Sumner home before he can become a danger to himself.” Hardly waiting for a response, Sam dragged his friend down the hall and got him out the door into their carriage without further incident. Once safely inside, Sam seized him by the shoulders and began to scold, but Charlie was oblivious to his remonstrance.

“Ah, there you are my charming little wifey! You were right Chev, the wine has shown everything in a new light! How delightful domestic life must be, isn’t it so Sam?” As Sam began to answer, Charlie leaned across the gap between them and muffled him with a sloppy but affectionate kiss. Sam, surprised, pulled back and let out a startled laugh, but Charlie pinned him against the back of the seat and kissed him with even great gusto, cradling his face so he could not move away. When he finally drew back for breath, he muttered again “How blissful domestic life would be with you, cara mia.”

 The carriage lurched and Charlie pitched sideways. He made no effort to right himself, apparently content with half-lying across Sam’s lap. Almost pitying him for the headache and humiliation he would face in the morning, Sam began tenderly stroking the sweat-damp hair from Charlie’s face.


End file.
